bunnika:

I was getting into my car at Target. An employee was taking in a few carts from the corral, which was on the driver’s side of my car. I wheeled up to the driver’s seat to start the car, so my daughter could have the windows rolled down while I loaded my chair in the back.
Employee: *gestures to the cart corral* Do you want me to move this for you?
Me: No, I’m okay, thanks!
Employee: You sure? It’s no problem.
Me: *already started car* Nah, I’m fine, thanks.
Employee: You sure? I can just move it.
Me: *already out from beside the corral* No, it’s fine. *I open my hatchback, transfer from my wheelchair seat to the car opening, start disassembling my chair*
Employee: Do you need some help?
Me: No, I’ve got it.
Employee: It’s no problem.
Me: No, really. I’m used it it, it’s fine.
Employee: *stands there and stares silently at me*
Me: *becomes so uncomfortable I turn around and start having a conversation with my daughter until he starts to move, then I turn back to my chair*
Employee: You know I was just offering because I was here.
Me: Yeah. It’s fine, I do this all the time.
Employee: I was just offering because I was here. It’s not like I think you NEED help.
Me: Yeah, it’s fine, I know.
Employee: I wasn’t saying you need help, it’s just that I’m here.
Me: *blink* *blink* Okay.
Employee: I mean, I was here, so why not?
Me: *stares blankly at him until he goes away*
This is really fucking annoying, and let me explain why: First, if you actually respected that cripples DON’T need our hands held through everything, you would accept our rejection and let us do things on our own. But no. You keep pushing. Well let me make this clear: Not only is this infantalizing as fuck, but it’s also a complete invasion of privacy. (And it’s all extra-double-awful when it’s a random MAN doing this, because my PTSD does not allow me to deal that easily with being approached by strange men AT ALL, let alone when they are pushy and keep insisting on getting near me, my chair, my car, or my child. Men, stop assuming that women need or want your help, and understand that many of us have legitimate reason to want you far, far away from us.) Our wheelchairs are extensions of our bodies; my wheelchair is my legs. I don’t fucking want strangers touching my legs. I don’t want strangers shoving my legs into my car. I don’t want strangers dropping my legs or getting my legs stuck on the backseat because hey, they’re not fucking familiar with them. Is that clear enough? No? Then how about YOU JUST FUCKING LISTEN WHEN WE TELL YOU TO LEAVE US ALONE AND STOP STARING AT US LIKE “OH GOD A CRIPPLE I DIDN’T KNOW THEY LET THEM OUTSIDE ALONE.” FFS, people.

Exactly! This is so annoying when this happens! See past the disability people!